Looking at the past from a CLC coaching perspective;
 
Looking at our history we sometimes pass judgments using today's knowledge on yesterday’s behaviors. This can be hurtful and harmful. As we grow and develop, we create strategies and make decisions to find ways to fulfill our societal, physical and emotional needs. These are based on our current state of self-knowledge and circumstances. We attempt to find "matches" to put into place in those areas we see as voids. These attempts are mostly trial and error as we unfold the processes of self-discovery.  Our culturalization teaches and models for us to look to the external for affection, affirmation and validation. If important others can feed back to us we are doing well, well it must be so. However, the Self knows the truth. We may have fooled them or we've passively played their game. We continually assess our current situations, relationships and positions to arrive at a level of comfort or discomfort. If upon discovering we are in discomfort, we strive to do the very best we know how to either sooth it or find ways to end it.  The key point here is "to best of our knowledge." We cannot know what we do not know. Any assertion otherwise is crazy making. The way we see our past is a choice, we can label it in the negative and believe there were better options we did not take because of some defect within ourselves or we can find more emotionally sober and compassionate views of how we learn about ourselves as we journey through these uncharted rocky landscapes to moments of inner peace that we can share with trusted others. You have survived, you've met most of your physical and emotional needs by using your good ideas, beliefs and feelings, and, in my opinion, you have thrived in your expression of them.   
       

"For me, Every human relationship is:
an experience in expression,
an exercise in compassion,
an exploration of Self." words by: Dale   4/27/11